At the stage in my query revision where I feel good. Getting ready to submit to my crit group and will find out if my good feeling is dashed with reality, or praised that I've nearly got it. Fingers crossed.

If anyone wants reply with their first query line "hook" and last paragraph consequence sentence, I'd love to give feedback.

Reply away!

Happy Sunday!

Working on that dreaded query letter again today. I found a helpful guide and one part especially caught my eye. 

The guide is called From the Query to the Call by Elana Johnson. 

After breaking down the query into four parts: Hook, Setup, Conflict, and Consequence, she adds at the end to write your 1st sentence query blurb, and your consequence sentence, and it should be your story in a nutshell. If it isn't, it's a novel problem, not a query problem. 

So, that's what I'm working on. 

In his world of absent parents and ten moves in eleven of his years, Seamus just wants to settle down with his family. Hard to make happen when Dad works in the middle of the ocean and Mom has abandonment issues...and has left again. When the reality that his parents won't change hits, Seamus will need to decide if he has the courage to risk hurting Mom, or if he will keep quiet to protect her, and fall back into the same old lonely life.

Very rough, and missing all of the fun stuff. My work is cut out for me.

Does anyone out there have any other helpful query information?

Or have a query you'd like looked at? Let me know, I'm willing to take a look and apply what I've learned. 

Try this link, see if you can get to the text.

https://www.wattpad.com/78137994-from-the-query-to-the-call-introduction

Happy hard work, query writing day!